As a young boy of only 11 years old I experienced the loss of my Dad. I didn’t have much discipline growing up. I did have Mom around who did her very best in keeping me out of trouble, but she never was a disciplinarian. Don’t get me wrong, my Mom did her very best while working very hard to keep the bills paid and attempting to maintain business. However, when Dad died the business did too as he was the business.
Parents have many differing discipline methods for their children. Some believe in spankings while others do not. As a School Resource Officer for eighteen years within my thirty-year Law Enforcement career, I saw a wide variety of methods with some going way too far with the physical approach. The harsh and physical approach never did help bring the parent and child relationship closer. In most cases, the children grew further apart from the parents.
Any search of child discipline in online search engines can result in literally hundreds of of articles on this subject and a parent can get lots of answers. However, they answer may not be what you need. Each child is unique and usually each child requires a different approach. Some do require more discipline than others…. you may even have one of this ‘perfect’ kids that never really gives you any trouble!
As a Law Officer I saw many situations where parents lost control of any discipline in their home … or perhaps never had control. With extremely yelling, Or, they just didn’t know what to do, so they call the police.
Dads 4 Life is associated with Glenn Ellison who Founded www.theparenthelpcenter.com. Through sixteen years of work he has seen the absolute worst scenarios in homes when a parent does not become an empowered Parent. His program helps parents regain control in their home and the program has had so much success.
Discipline requires work… anything is easier than discipline! It requires effort, time and a desire to see a changed life… whether it be your own life or that of your child.
Jim Rohn once taught that “Discipline is like a set of magic keys that can unlock the doors of wealth, happiness, culture, high self-esteem, pride, joy, accomplishment, satisfaction and success.” He further spoke on three keys to unlock the Discipline we need:
- AWARNESS: Being aware of the need for the value of discipline, especially the discipline to make the necessary changes you need for your children to succeed. We must find a discipline that works for our children without harming them.
- WILLINGNESS: Being willing to maintain your discipline deliberately, wisely and consistently. Yes… it is work! If your children misuse their cell phone privileges, there should be discipline in some type of form to help them remember … Mom/Dad was not playing when they said don’t misuse this privilege. They will remember the rules well, if the phone is taken away for a short period. I know parents who remind them, who pays the bill for them to have that privilege.
- COMMITMENT: Master the circumstances of their mistakes. Maybe remind them of the last time they lost the cell phone privilege and how inconvenient it was for them not to have their phone. I am not suggesting keep a book of their wrong doings, but simply a gentle reminder that before when as an adult you see something coming. Reminding them of the consequences of their actions. Communications and openly talking with your children will strengthen a commitment and a relationship. You know relationships take work too! At least the children will begin to see you are consistent in your discipline and that you care by talking and not just demanding. I realize each child is different… just keep a commitment to them with love.
The discipline of any kind if new, alters life’s direction. Our children sometimes believe that we as Mom or Dad are being mean when we administer discipline. I even heard parents say their children don’t think they love them because they discipline them for their behavior. Discipline has to be mixed with love, understanding and commitment. The child has to know, and sense they are loved. It has to be more than just mere talk!
I am reminded of words from Biblical Scripture in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.
Parents, we only have a short while to influence our children for their future. Life has all forms of discipline no matter our age. Just make bad decisions on the job, in the military or with the Law and we will be reminded that no one is exempt from discipline. The Law of Discipline within our lives is beneficial … even though it cannot be seen at the exact moment it is happening.
Make time for consistent, love and discipline! Discipline is not convenient and it uses time. Remember, we are developing the next generation! To win the heart of your child as a Dad we must communicate to them. Be Open, honest, listen with no immediate judgments. It is very rarely required to give an immediate response … think before we yell, take action, but with love. People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, now what you nag them to be.
I am always reminding my parents to go out, Encourage, Enhance and Enrich someone’s life today, but let us begin with our children because they truly need it the most!